I'm not your toy
by PastelSweet
Summary: "I should make my stand. Tell her it's over, everything. Me being gripped in Cyclonia's powerful claws? Over." The Dark Ace muses about his relationship with Cyclonis.


**Oh dear god, shoot me now. I did the one thing i promised myself i'd never do. Im not a huge fan of songfics, you see. I dislike them usually. So it's all good if you dislike this. Or hate. Either one, its all good :) I was in the hospital all last night, and i had my trusty ipod & Maths homework book with me, and i heard this song (Im not your toy - La Roux) and the lyrics reminded me of The Dark Ace... So here we go! Anyway, the song itself is not something i'd associate with him, but the lyrics are :) So yeah... Enjoy?  
(oh, and just change the girl to boy and boy to girl in the lyrics and this would make ALOT more sense! I was too lazy to change it myself... :D)**  


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_Love, love is like a stubborn youth_

_That you'd rather just deny_

I needed time to think, to clear my head. She drove me crazy. Both in a good way, and a bad way. But I could never admit it. Ever. To anyone. Except her… I knew that under her evil façade, she was a sweet, gentle human being. She had to be. Even I, cold hearted as I am, have my own soft side in a way. I do feel general remorse for the slaying of all those innocent people. It's just that… sometimes, Remorse can get mixed with the other emotions I feel… Loyalty to my Master, Gratitude, anger, murderous passion and also… Love. But it couldn't be love… No. We wouldn't be capable of that. Ever.

_I'm walking on a broken roof_

_While I'm looking at the sky_

It all looks so simple up there. Above the rest of the world. No worries, no hassles, no battles to choose the future of the world. Just dark nothingness, occasionally lit by the odd beacon of light from a nearby star. How I was jealous of them, they're ability to not have to think about things, to destroy things, to kill things. All because of the girl you love.

_It's all false love and affection_

_You don't want me_

_You just like the attention_

But what if the girl you loved was using you? For her own twisted devices? And no matter how much you wanted to hate her, you couldn't? And you knew that no matter what she did to you, to anyone, to everyone, you knew you would always love her, that she would always have that special place in your heart?

_Yes it's all false love and affection_

_You don't like me_

_You just want the attention_

It wasn't like some part of me didn't realise she was using me; I just didn't want to realise it. All those touches, those kisses, they were lies. Lies to help her gain control over her empire, soon to be the world. Part of me thought that she would want me to rule beside her, but another part of me knew the truth. She wouldn't want that. She would want to rule the world on her lonesome, like always. She didn't need people to love her, to care for her. She just needed people to do her dirty work.

_I'm not your toy_

_This isn't another girl meets boy_

_I'm not your toy_

_This isn't another girl meets boy_

No. I couldn't let her control me, like I was some sort of puppet. But that's what I was. It was useless to fight against her, she always got her way. And how could I deny the girl I wanted all the happiness she deserved?

_Love, love hides in a smoky light_

_And I can never find the truth_

But what if she didn't deserve all this happiness? She never made _me _happy. Just angry. Angry and confused. Angry, because I knew I couldn't bend her will. Angry because I would always have to do as she said, and if I dared to leave her empire, I would be crushed. By her or my own heart, I was unsure. She made me confused in many ways. The way she would act like she wanted me for a minute, then the next she would be ordering me to go out and slaughter innocent people that were a potential threat to her empire. It wasn't right, part of me knew that. But that part was smothered by the feelings I had for the girl… wretched as she was, I still cared for her.

_Boy, your touches leave me mystified_

_And I wish I could believe in you_

The times she acted like she wanted me were bliss. Pure and utter bliss. But I could never tell if she truly meant it, or if it was to keep me under her spell, to keep doing her bidding. It was as if I was a slave to her, no longer noticing my own free will being squandered by the oppression she was forcing down on me.

_Yes it's all false love and affection_

_You don't want me_

_You just like the attention_

The times we were partly together, it felt as if she didn't want to be there. Like she wanted to be somewhere else. She probably did. Probably wanted to get back to running her empire. And probably wanted me to get back to obeying her every command.

_Yes it's all false love and affection_

_You don't like me_

_You just want the attention_

Does she even care about me? I honestly don't know, but my suspicions are pointing towards no. She never shows me any kind of affection, She never lets me live down how I haven't beaten that Aerrow kid yet. She hardly shows appreciation towards me, except always favouring me over those other nitwits she has. But that isn't much of a hard choice really. Anyone would pick me to do the job over those bumbling buffoons.

_I'm not your toy_

_This isn't another girl meets boy_

_I'm not your toy_

_This isn't another girl meets boy_

I'm a grown man, yet I let a teenager take control of me. I shouldn't have to take that... But I do. I'm useless against her evil charm, her monstrous grin, her evil thoughts. The evilness in her... there's just something about it.

_I'm not your toy_

_This isn't another girl meets boy_

_I'm not your toy_

_This isn't another girl meets boy_

I deserve better though. Better than some vile teenage monster, bent on creating mayhem and chaos at her own accord. I shouldn't even be with someone her age... I'm some kind of monster in that way.

_It's all false love and affection_

_You don't want me_

_You just like the attention_

_Yes it's all false love and affection_

_You don't like me_

_You just want the attention_

I should make my stand. Tell her it's over, everything. Me being gripped in Cyclonia's powerful claws? Over. Her having complete control over me? Over. Her using me? Over.

_I'm not your toy_

_This isn't another girl meets boy_

_I'm not your toy_

_This isn't another girl meets boy_

_I'm not your toy_

_This isn't another girl meets boy_

_I'm not your toy_

_This isn't another girl meets boy_

But... I can't. I can't hurt her in any way, shape or form... though I should. She deserves to be told no, to be hurt. But that's not what she wants. I'm a slave to her... a stupid, head-over-heels slave. She deserves to get everything she wants, and more.

Too bad I'm not what she wants.

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I** could kill myself for writing this. I really could. I feel i got it all wrong but i dont care... Read & Review, yes? :) xo **


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